This Day Last Year

This day last year was different.  This day last year didn’t start like any other day.  This day last year I was freaking out.  Did I get everything done to prepare my life, my kids, my family and my house for the long road ahead?  Will I remember my kids smile or a hug from my husband? Will I be the same when I come home?  These are thoughts that were going through my head that day.  A lot of things would go thru my head that day.

This day last year we drove to the hospital and  we heard a song.  The song was “Thinking out Loud” by Ed Sheeran.  It was too much and it made me cry.  I was on my way to a Grand Rapids hospital for my brain surgery.  I had a craniotomy  resection lobectomy, an epilepsy surgery that hopefully would take care of my seizures in which it did. When this song came on all I could think about was what could happen?  Will I remember our life together?  Will I remember my family and friends? Will I act the same and be the same person I was?  But the other thought was what if I don’t do this surgery there is a huge risk they would get worse or I could die.    The song is about remembering your significant other as you get older and possibly forget important little things about each other and how much we care for each other.

This day last year as I got to the surgery waiting room my pastor his son and my parents were there and before we were.  My kids were on their way with my sister.  This day last year I was prayed for and said “see ya after my surgery” to my family. Not knowing what things would be like.

This day last year my husband stayed right next to me holding my hand until I was out.  The last thing I remember is my pastor and his son praying over me.  And that was it everything went black and I was out.

This day last year I woke up in a hospital room all stapled up after a 3 1/2 hour surgery I think.  Honestly I don’t remember how long it was.   My whole family was around me and I remembered them even though I was still partly out.  I was severely dizzy but I remembered.

This day last year my whole world was spinning literally.  This day last year I couldn’t walk at all without help.  Not because I didn’t know how but because well I just had brain surgery and I was severely dizzy and had a headache from hell. This day last year changed my life and changed my day to day living.

This day last year my life slowed down but only for a little while. I had to walk with a walker or have someone help me.  It hurt to eat and my head just hurt.  There is still recovery time for another year maybe two.  Lots of dizziness and lots of headaches in which I will deal with probably the rest of my life.  The best part of this day last year was I was given a gift of a surgery to get my life back to normal.  It was a gift of a better quality of life and to begin to live out loud.